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When the Bees Became Our Uninvited Models

Byournaturistlife

Ten Photos of Us, Fifty Photos of Forest!

Naturist photo shoot. A Naturist woman posing outdoors in a forest during a photo shoot before an unexpected bee encounter.

We’ve done plenty of naturist photo shoots before. Usually, it’s just a matter of finding the right light, the perfect backdrop, setting up the tripod, and letting nature do its thing. And at first, today looked like it would be one of those perfect, easy sessions.

I started off by taking plenty of shots of Corin. She looked amazing… calm, natural, completely at ease in the forest.

Then, I set up the tripod for our first photos together. That’s when the world changed.

About ten shots in, I stepped back, heard a crunch, and thought nothing of it. Big mistake. Apparently, I had just stomped on the invisible doorbell to a secret bee hive.

The first sting hit, then another, and suddenly the whole forest erupted. We weren’t doing a photo shoot anymore… we were doing cardio. Naked cardio. At sprinting speed.

This is the only photo of the moment on a 10 second timer! That’s how fast we ran!

It wasn’t graceful. There was no “romantic naturist couple” vibe. Just two humans flailing through the trees like startled ostriches. Corin took four stings… shoulder, armpit, side of her boob, and one more just because the bees were feeling creative. I took three… earlobe, calf, and right under my butt cheek (a truly undignified location).

And the best part? The camera was still on timer mode, loyally snapping away. Dozens of beautifully framed shots of empty forest, while the actual stars of the show were busy auditioning for “Naked and Afraid: The Bee Edition.”

Then came my hero’s quest… sprinting back into the danger zone to grab the camera and tripod. It was a fast, naked in-and-out. Equal parts bravery, stupidity, and zigzagging. I swear the bees were laughing.

Once we’d pulled the stingers out and waited for the throbbing to die down, most people would’ve quit. But Corin? She’s a trooper. She looked at me and said, “We came here to shoot, and we’re going to finish.”

So we did. Red welts, swollen bumps, and all. Because if bees can’t stop us, nothing will.

The lessons?

1. Solo photos: safe. Couple photos: apparently a crime punishable by bees.

2. Bees always go for the most inconvenient body parts. Protect at all costs while running.

3. If you forget your camera, prepare for the fastest nude sprint of your life.Sometimes nature doesn’t want to pose with you. Sometimes, it wants to direct the entire scene.

But the photo shoot turned out great!

Naturism should come with medals… fastest barefoot sprint, most creative bee swatting dance, and best attempt at keeping a straight face while being stung under the butt cheek. We’d be champions!

😃😁

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17 Comments

  6. I also think that maybe these were Yellowjackets, BUT you talk about pulling out stingers. A Yellowjacket does not lose his stinger, and can sit and sting you multiple times, then fly away. One summer, here in Alaska, I would get stung on an average of once a day, which means that some days I would get stung multiple times, and some days not at all. Their behavior is different in different batches. Some are fierce, some are actually docile! I had one summer where I even had about 10 of them crawling on the back of my hand (a very sensuous feeling) getting salt from my perspiration, and not once did I get stung!

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  8. I wonder if you really encountered a nest of yellow jackets (a type of wasp). They build their nests in the ground and are VERY aggressive if disturbed. I always have to be careful around my gardens for that reason. You don’t want to step on one!

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  9. I feel for you both, I think that’s called suffering for your art 🤣. Great work keep it up.
    Bit of advice, Never pull a bee sting out, what you get hold of is the poison sack, so you squeeze the rest of the venom into your body. The way to do it is scratch the sting with a finger nail, that way you minimise the amount of venom that gets into you. The quicker you can do it the better because the sack is still contracting, pumping venom into you.

    Once you’ve been stung once you are marked as a threat and other bees will target you. (Not forever, just then).

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  10. It’s kinda comedic in the description but also I’m glad you’re both ok. Extensive bee stings can have a lot of bad results. The photos are great.

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  11. I’m glad that apparently neither of you are allergic to bee stings.
    I’m glad that you’re both okay!
    Being stung on one’s butt is FAR better than being stung on one’s genitals…
    Quite a while ago, I read a story of a nudist beekeeper who did get stung, on his penis (no, he didn’t provide photos…LOL). But he did have a photo of him, nude, next to a hive. Kevin, you didn’t purposely step on the nest, of course, but that’s why they went after you guys.

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  12. Hope you’re both feeling better. I shouldn’t laugh, but my mental picture of you hot footin’ it naked while being chased by bees through the woods…🤣🤪

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