When the Bees Became Our Uninvited Models
Ten Photos of Us, Fifty Photos of Forest!
We’ve done plenty of naturist photo shoots before. Usually, it’s just a matter of finding the right light, the perfect backdrop, setting up the tripod, and letting nature do its thing. And at first, today looked like it would be one of those perfect, easy sessions.
I started off by taking plenty of shots of Corin. She looked amazing… calm, natural, completely at ease in the forest.
Then, I set up the tripod for our first photos together. That’s when the world changed.
About ten shots in, I stepped back, heard a crunch, and thought nothing of it. Big mistake. Apparently, I had just stomped on the invisible doorbell to a secret bee hive.
The first sting hit, then another, and suddenly the whole forest erupted. We weren’t doing a photo shoot anymore… we were doing cardio. Naked cardio. At sprinting speed.
This is the only photo of the moment on a 10 second timer! That’s how fast we ran!
It wasn’t graceful. There was no “romantic naturist couple” vibe. Just two humans flailing through the trees like startled ostriches. Corin took four stings… shoulder, armpit, side of her boob, and one more just because the bees were feeling creative. I took three… earlobe, calf, and right under my butt cheek (a truly undignified location).
And the best part? The camera was still on timer mode, loyally snapping away. Dozens of beautifully framed shots of empty forest, while the actual stars of the show were busy auditioning for “Naked and Afraid: The Bee Edition.”
Then came my hero’s quest… sprinting back into the danger zone to grab the camera and tripod. It was a fast, naked in-and-out. Equal parts bravery, stupidity, and zigzagging. I swear the bees were laughing.
Once we’d pulled the stingers out and waited for the throbbing to die down, most people would’ve quit. But Corin? She’s a trooper. She looked at me and said, “We came here to shoot, and we’re going to finish.”
So we did. Red welts, swollen bumps, and all. Because if bees can’t stop us, nothing will.
A Naturist Photoshoot
The lessons?
1. Solo photos: safe. Couple photos: apparently a crime punishable by bees.
2. Bees always go for the most inconvenient body parts. Protect at all costs while running.
3. If you forget your camera, prepare for the fastest nude sprint of your life.Sometimes nature doesn’t want to pose with you. Sometimes, it wants to direct the entire scene.
But the photo shoot turned out great!
Naturism should come with medals… fastest barefoot sprint, most creative bee swatting dance, and best attempt at keeping a straight face while being stung under the butt cheek. We’d be champions!
😃😁
Check out our other fun article Naked in Nature… and Nature Bites Back
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