The Lens I Remember Through

A Diagnosis That Changed Everything

Photography and memory have become inseparable for me, because the images I capture help preserve moments my mind sometimes struggles to hold.

Back in September of 2013, everything changed. I was diagnosed with a macroadenoma. A word I had never even heard before became the center of my world. It was golf ball size tumor in my head.

It is strange how something so small, hidden deep in the skull, can alter the course of a life so dramatically. Surgery followed in October; transsphenoidal, they called it. A delicate dance through the nose, into the brain to try to remove the tumor. Then came gamma knife radiation in 2021 to try to destroy the remnants that were regrowing.

And somewhere before, during, and after all of this, the memories faded. I do not even remember when they started to disappear.

I am hypopituitary. Every hormone in my body is something I must consciously replace by pill or injection… every day. But the biggest loss, the one no pill or injection can restore, is my memory.

Photography and Memory

Much of my past, especially from before the diagnosis and replacement hormones, is now a blur. Entire chapters of my life feel like they were lived by someone else. I recognize the faces in the photos, even the places, sometimes, but I often do not remember being there. The moments that should be mine don’t feel anchored inside me anymore. They drift, until I see a photograph.

What keeps the past alive for me is photography. I don’t just look at photos, I relive moments through them. They anchor me to who I was, where I’ve been, and how I’ve grown. Old memories come back not as recollections, but as visuals. Without photos, entire years would be lost to me as many have.

So photography has become more than a hobby, it’s become a necessity. A way to preserve my current life, frame by frame, and reconnect with my old life where possible. They are more than snapshots. They are a living memory. Anchors. Evidence. Proof.

Meeting Corin: A Turning Point

And then, a year after surgery, I met Corin.

I was honest with her from the beginning, about the memory loss, the unpredictable mood swings, the challenged energy levels as I tried to find a new balance through hormone replacement. I had every reason to believe this might scare someone away because I was still learning how to live again in a changed body with a brain that did not always cooperate.

But she didn’t run. She stayed. She listened. She accepted me, fully, as I was. And more than that, she helped me through it. She brought a calm and understanding into my life that I was longing for.

Today, she is my wife. And in so many ways, she is also my anchor. My calm and my beautiful muse.

The Creative Bond We Share

Most of the photos I take now are of Corin. Not just because she is always near, but because photographing her brings me a peace I rarely feel elsewhere.

What started as capturing simple, everyday moments slowly evolved into something more intentional, more expressive. Five years into the relationship, as we both began exploring naturism together, a new layer of creativity and intimacy opened up. That is where our journey into artistic nude photography really began. It wasn’t about creating content or following trends, it was about honoring the body, the connection, the realness of our shared life.

When I photograph Corin, something shifts in me. My mind, often scrambled and unfocused, goes quiet. I become completely present. Grounded. It is one of the rare times I feel truly clear, mentally and emotionally. Through the lens, I am not only seeing her, but I am also seeing us. Our bond, our trust, the quiet strength that exists between us. Those photographs carry memory, yes, but also emotion and movement. It is not about capturing an image, it is about honoring a moment, a feeling, a person I deeply love.

A Passion That Keeps Growing

Over the last five years, I have taken thousands of photos, candid and posed, of our life together. Our quiet moments at home, our weekend adventures, our trips, and our planned photo shoots. I experiment. I play. I try new techniques. I chase the light and shadow, always hoping to capture the beauty my eyes and heart see that are uniquely Corin. There’s passion in that process, something deeply personal that goes far beyond photography as a hobby. It is an expression of love, of presence, of gratitude.

And through this journey, I have come to appreciate the work of other photographers on a whole new level. I find myself inspired by their vision, their vulnerability, and their ability to turn emotion into art. Their work encourages me to push further, to see differently, to create more. That inspiration is what led to the creation of the Artistic Nude Photos feed on Bluesky. A space to celebrate this genre not just as a visual form, but as a way of honoring authenticity, embodiment, and expression through the beauty of the nude human form.

Navigating the Lens of Artistic Nude Photography

Artistic nude photography has become a part of our creative life and our naturist life, but I also understand it’s not without its tension and controversy, especially among naturists. So let me be clear: artistic nude photography and fine art nudes are not naturist photography. The intent is fundamentally different.

Naturist photography is about capturing people living naturally, being body free in daily life, without shame, and without the framing of art or performance. It is candid, relaxed, unposed.

Artistic nude photography, on the other hand, is about creative expression. It is about light, shadow, composition, mood, and the emotional or aesthetic message behind the nude body. It is storytelling, and yes, sometimes through beauty, and sometimes through vulnerability.

One is rooted in lifestyle. The other in art.

The Artistic Nude Photos feed was never intended to be a naturist feed. It is a space to explore the creative, interpretive side of nudity as an art form through photography.

That said, there is an interesting space where the two worlds overlap. The way light hits skin at sunset. A peaceful stillness in a candid frame. When naturist moments carry that same depth, that same aesthetic quality. In those moments, a photo can speak to both audiences. It can stir emotion, challenge perception, and maybe, just maybe, help someone understand what naturism feels like beyond the definitions. When these crossover moments are shared in art spaces, they introduce the feeling of naturism to people who may never have considered it.

Still, this genre is not without its criticisms. It can cross the imaginary line into sensuality and sexuality. Some naturists feel that artistic nudes do not reflect the true diversity of everyday bodies or the lifestyle itself. They see the predominance of young women and assume the work is exclusionary. And I get it, when representation feels narrow, it can feel like a barrier. It is true: most artistic nude models are young women. And when that is all people see, it can feel exclusive, even misleading. They are missing the diversity even among the one subset of people. They see the body, but not the art and are missing the message behind the photo.

But I also know that many of these photographers, myself included, are working to change that. The feed continues to grow and to include more males, people of color, older bodies, soft bodies, scars, wrinkles, strength, sensuality, and vulnerability. They are there, and their presence matters. We can all advocate for broader representation without dismissing or devaluing those who fit traditional beauty standards. Inclusivity means appreciating all bodies, including those that align with conventional ideals.

They need to pause and ask what the photo is saying. To me, that is the magic of this genre. Not just in what it shows, but in what it evokes. Artistic nude photography is not about promoting naturism, but sometimes, it helps others understand it. It adds something meaningful to the conversation about body acceptance, authenticity, and presence to people may not understand naturism. How the nude form should not be something inherently obscene.

We are proud to be a part of something showcasing it.

More Than Just Memory

For me, photography has become the most reliable way to hold onto my life. It is no longer just a way to remember the past. It is how I create the present and how I stay grounded.

It is how I remember and is one way that I express love. It is how I feel present when my brain wants to drift and how I stay connected to Corin, to our journey, and to myself. Through photography, I reclaim my story. Through Corin, I remember my heart. And through every photo I take, I keep building a life I can hold onto, even when memories fade.

This does not end as a “woe is me” story. I could not be happier to have the support I have from Corin. Many will never have an opportunity to fall in love with their muse.

And while my memory may be fragile, the images are not. They are steady. They are proof of a life being fully lived, one frame at a time.

You can check out my memories on our Photography page.

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